


Badly written Farscape One Shots from 2001

by Beth Harker (Beth_Harker)



Category: Farscape
Genre: F/M, I’m leaving in every single spelling mistake my teenage self made, Reposted from fan fiction.net, not edited, original Disclaimers and author’s notes left intact, these works are old and badly written
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2001-02-07
Updated: 2001-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:20:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28095300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beth_Harker/pseuds/Beth%20Harker
Summary: See title.
Relationships: John Crichton/Aeryn Sun





	1. Sleepless

Sleepless  
Disclaimer: Ain't mine. Nope. Uh-uh.

Notes: A post ep for Relativity. What a great episode! Written while listening to Phantom Of The Opera. That really doesn't mean that much, it's just my way of saying that this will be much more serious than those fics I've written while listening to Starlight Express. G Sentient trains all the way! (that was a tangent... It can be ignored).

Spoilers: GEM, OOTM.

————-

Aeryn was tired. Very tired. John could see this, even as she entered the quarters that they shared on Talyn. Actually, Crais had given them separate quarters, so this closeness wasn't truly necessary. It was simply preferred. She smiled at him, doing her best to look playful, and failing miserably.

Sex, was of course an option, one that John would have jumped to at any other time. Not now. She needed to sleep. If that was even possible right now. John hadn't slept the night after his mother died. He had stayed up almost all night, with his father, crying. Her death still pained him even today, even though he hadn't been the one to kill her. His mother had died of cancer, Aeryn's had died of something far more insidious.

Of course, Aeryn hadn't killed Xelex. She would've, but John hadn't let her. He had made Crais do it for her, as if that would somehow make everything better. It didn't matter who pulled the trigger. Not really. Dead was dead. Aeryn's mother was gone. The brightest star in the perpetual nigh of his universe was in mourning.

He watched he climb into her side of the bed. If she noticed his lingering gaze she gave no indication of it. He lay, staring he shoulder blade, as she lay staring wide-eyed and alert at the wall. It was several microts before he noticed her shoulder tremble very slightly, as if she were trying to hold back a sob.

Aeryn herself was trying hard not to think-not to feel. How many people that she had loved had died because of her? Xelex, Velorec. Yet that woman had showed no signs of caring about her, not for cycles. The peacekeepers had destroyed that emotion in Xelex.

No... don't think. She reminded herself. It was to late. She felt her eyes become flooded with a familiar moisture, even as she tried to regain control over her betraying emotions. She felt a gentle tug on her shoulder and she turned to face John. His eyes were wet as well, as though he were in the grips of some painful memory of his own.

He pulled her closer to him, so that her forehead rested against his chest. His hand began to move through her hair, in a gentle, rhythmic motion. She focused on that, on him, instead of the painful thoughts that wouldn't let her be. And they slept.


	2. On My Own

Category: Romance/angst

Rating: NC17! NC17! Just kidding, I don't write that stuff (or at least nobody can prove that I do:)) This thing is barely PG.

Archiving: Take it, tell me, and I will be eternally flattered.

Disclaimer: I...I (sound of muffled sobbing). It's not mine! It's just not! 'Kay?

Feedback: carlottaq or you can always just fill out the form at the bottom of the page. As always I am desperately begging for any scraps of feedback y'all are willing to throw towards me.

Thanks: To my Beta reader Erin Cale. Also to Katka_ivory from "The 'Shippy lil Scaper RPG", for mentioning Les Mis on the RP, thus causing me to get out my sound track.

Notes: Based very loosely on the song "On My Own" from Les Miserables. Aeryn's POV.

~"On my own  
Pretending he's beside me  
All alone I walk with him till morning  
Without him  
I feel his arms around me  
And when I loose my way  
I close my eyes and he has found me."  
~ Eponine "On My Own" Les Mis

—————

I stare absently at the young child who lays in her bed sleeping deeply-Ponine. She's a truly beautiful child, she resemble him so much with her blue eyes and hair the color of fine gold. Her father is gone. Not dead, but lost none the less. It's my fault. I could have gone to earth with him, he wanted me to. He practically begged me to go with him, but I refused him in what I now know was a moment of cowardice. How I rue that moment. If I had gone with him I wouldn't be on the frelling planet now. A Sabacien colony, a place where I could belong. Ha! The inhabitants of this planet are the most docile group of Sabaciens I have ever encountered. This is most definitely not where I belong, or where my child belongs.

At length the soft sound of thunder, and the gentle beckoning of a howling wind draws me from my dwelling, stirring my wander lust. With one last lingering glance at my daughter I am out the door, running through the deserted rain slicked streets of the city. I hate this planet. They don't even allow weapons, not that I don't keep my pulse rifle hidden away. I can't leave though, my vessel was destroyed shortly after I came here. A new one would cost money I simply don't have. Of course I don't plan on staying here forever. No, I could never take that.

The rain falls on my face as I slow my run. I'm in near the center of the city now, an area of endless activity during the day. Now it is empty. The rain begins to slow, and soon it will stop. A new feeling comes over me, one I've experienced often on nights like this. A feeling that John is much closer than he really is. When I close my eyes I can actually *see* him. I can feel his arms wrapped around me, and I can hear the rain drops spattering against his body. He taught me to dream, and now I dream about him.

Around me everything seems to change. The rain is no longer cold, the wind no longer biting. The tiny rivers running down the street seem to be made of fine glowing silver. The rain has finally stopped now, and the moon is out softly illuminating the landscape. The stars are out as well, filling me with a familiar longing to return home to the vast exciting expanse of space. To return to Moya, and to my friends and have everything be exactly as it was before. I spent three cycles on the Levithin but looking back on that time it seems like one single utterly perfect moment.

I shake my head, ever the strong soldier. I will not be caught in this moment of melancholy reminiscence. I wont dwell on what I can't have. I am far too strong for that. Almost angrily I close my eyes focusing the specter of John that I myself summoned to disappear. The sun is beginning to rise brightly now, but it seems colder then ever. I bite my lip. I break into a run, moving quickly in order to reach my house before my daughter awakens.


	3. Farscape ABC’s

Farscape ABC's

Disclaimer: Not mine. Never was, never will be.

————-

A Is for Aeryn, a peacekeeper chick

B Is the Baby of a living ship

C Is Chiana the newest on board

D is Ka D'Argo, a great Luxen warrior

E Is Earth, John Crichton's planet

F Is for the Flax, don't take the ep. for granted.

G is for the Greatness, Rygel claims to have in is his mind

H Is for the Homes everyone longs to find

I Is for the Instant, in which a wormhole was created

J Is for John, constantly berated

K Is for Kornata, did I spell that right?

L Is for a Luxen, that's ready to fight.

M is for M'Lee, Microt, and Moya too

N 'Cause there's Nothing our heroes can't do

O Is for O'Bannon, Farscape's creator

P is for Pulse rifle, shoot fist ask question's later

Q is for Chi's Quickness and ability to snearch

R Is for Rygil; on a throne he is perched

S Is for Starburst, Moya's mean's of escape

T Is for Talyn, commanded by captain Crais

U Is the Universe, it's theirs to explore

V Is the Voice Crichton used to say: "you can be more"

W the Way all the 'Shipper's always want John and Aeryn to kiss

X is X-files, unrelated to this

Y Is for Yotz, sometimes said by Moya's crew

Z Is for Zhaan, a Delvian so blue


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Not mine. Rockne O'Bannon's/Sci-fi's (can y'all tell I'm getting I bit tired of writing disclaimers… they just keep getting shorter, and shorter, and shorter…).  
Notes: Post ep for DMD… Just HAD to resurrect Aeryn. If the creators keep her dead, I'm gonna be so frelling angry… (My co-author says that the ending sucks only because she wrote only the last paragraph. You should've read it before.)  
Spoilers: DMD, TWWW  
Feedback: PLEASE! Send it to carlottaq Thanks y'all (about the excessive use of the word y'all, I just finished doing a skit for my Drama class in which I played a young southern girl and it just kinda stuck).  
Thanks: Thank you to my BETA readers, Rebecca and Megan for their constant support.  
Rating: PG, just because I don't trust myself to write a "G" story.

—- 

"Go away Aeryn we don't need you yet…" The words echoed in Aeryn's mind for several before she looked up at the speaker. It was… Velorek! But that couldn't be Velorek was dead. "Are you listening… you have to leave. If you don't you won't be able to…" Velorek gestured to a tunnel that she dimly remembered having traveled before. Just after… oh god. Suddenly memories that felt a million cycles old came rushing back to her. She remembered falling through the air and crashing through something hard and cold. She remembered taking in a deep breath, not of air but of thick, icy water. Then she had sunk for the longest time… deeper and deeper, until suddenly she wasn't sinking any more. She was floating; floating all the way to… wherever she was now. She remembered John once telling her that after you died you would meet with loved ones who had also passed away. Velorek was certainly dead. Could that mean she was… "Aeryn!" Velorek's ever persistent voice broke her from her reverie. When she turned to face Velorek he seemed relieved that he was finally getting through to her. "Do you want to get out of here or not?" Aeryn nodded numbly still somewhat in a daze because of recent events. Velorek took her arm and began to lead her swiftly down the tunnel. He seemed remarkably fit for a dead man…  
As she ran next to Velorek she could not help but notice that the walls of the tunnel were changing. They had been white and vaguely luminescent /John's 'white light'/ but now they were beginning to form pictures… no not like pictures, they were moving, more like the images on the clamshell. Fascinated she observed the pictures, without stopping her run. It showed a young Sebacean with raven black hair that matched her own holding a squealing baby. With a shock Aeryn realized that the baby was her and that the woman was her mother. Velorek must have noticed her surprise.  
"You were a cute kid… you can ignore that though, it's mostly for effect." He explained with a trace of humor.  
"Effect?" Aeryn echoed.  
"Oh so you haven't lost your speech!" Velorek exclaimed with mock surprise. "People tend to enter the afterlife with certain… expectations. It seems that having ones life flash before their eyes is a popular one."  
"The afterlife?" Aeryn asked apprehensively. Velorek stopped running and turned to face her very seriously. Dimly she noticed that she was experiencing none of the normal effects of physical exertion. Her heart rate hadn't even risen. It was as if she hadn't been running at all.  
"Aeryn, you just died, don't you remember?" Aeryn nodded.  
"I drowned…" She was silent for a moment searching her memory for the things John told her about the afterlife. So far everything he had said had been correct; the white light, loved ones, life passing before her eyes. "Is this heaven?" John's word for the utopia people entered after death seemed foreign on her tough. Velorek shook his head.  
"They don't make heaven for people like us."  
"Hell then?"  
"No… though that is were most peacekeepers tend to go. You and I landed somewhere in between. Still peacekeepers but…" he smiled suddenly, "I told you you were more." Velorek faltered looking at the wall them. "But you can't stay here now… I'm supposed to be guiding you back to your body… there are still many things you must do in your mortal life."  
"What?" Aeryn asked stubbornly. She found this whole scenario unsettling, and wanted desperately to return to her mortal life, but she also wanted to know what was so important about her that she deserved divine intervention. Velorek merely grabbed onto her arm again and resumed their run.  
"We have to get out of here quickly, before our window closes and you get stuck." He explained haltingly. It was a while before she looked back up at the walls of the tunnel. She was dismayed to see that it had already reached the part of her life involving Velorek… as luck would have it very close to his death, the point when she would betray him. When she glanced over at her companion she realized he to was watching the tunnel walls. He gave her hand a quick squeeze, apparently he understood.

*******  
Suddenly the tunnel closed behind them and Aeryn found herself standing face to face with herself. Only she is in one was of the freezer chambers in "the doc's" lab. As she moved closer to the tinted glass she noticed that Rygel's belt and D'Argo's qualta blade were in the freezer unit with her. Her face seemed so old and pale, not like hers at all, and a lock of her hair was missing.  
"You can go back into your body whenever you're ready. It won't offer you any resistance." Aeryn was surprised to see Velorek still behind her. "If our timing is correct, one of your friends… a Luxan should be coming this way pretty soon. I'm sure he'll let you out if you bang on the glass hard enough. Of course if you wish to wait until he gets here…" Aeryn nodded.  
"You said you'd tell me why I'm being resurrected," she said pointedly.  
"Of course, though I don't know much about it myself. There is a man who loves you. This man holds the fate of almost half the universe in his hands. But he doesn't know this yet, and without you he's worthless." The door creaked open and D'Argo began to walk in, "Go, return to your body now or all is lost!"  
"Velorek… I…."  
"I know, just go!" Aeryn stepped somewhat regretfully back into her body, and abruptly her awareness changed. Suddenly she found herself in a pool of thick slush, almost ice. Her lungs were burning for air and it was so incredibly cold. For a moment she was certain she was going to drown again, but then she remembered her task. Every muscle in her body screamed with pain as she rammed her arm up against the glass with all the strength that she could muster.  
"D'Ar-" her voice gave out as her body tried to expel the water in her lungs. She saw his face as he turned to her. The surprise that she found there was almost palpable. He jammed the control mechanism and she found herself falling as the door's support was suddenly yanked from underneath her aching body.  
"Aeryn?" D'Argo muttered as he caught her and lowered her to the ground gently. "But you're dead." He seemed more than a little suspicious of her.  
"As John would say, 'It wasn't my time'. Where is he?"  
"I don't know. He was going through the operation, but Scorpius showed up and we had to hide from him. He came down to the planet for a few minutes, then he left. I came down after, to find John. He wasn't in the operating room, he's not in here... I don't know where he could be."  
"Do you think that Scorpius took him?" Aeryn's face was worried as she tensed her body, getting ready to stand up and go after John.  
"No, after he left, Moya detected John on the planet, but his lifesigns disappeared soon after."  
Aeryn coughed violently, then asked, "Is the transport pod still here?"  
"Of course, why?"  
"Do you remember where I crashed- the frozen lake?"  
"Yes-" D'Argo's voice trailed off as he got her point. "You don't think-"  
"That's the only other place I can think that he would go."  
"Fine. I'll call Zhaan to look after you and I'll go after John." D'Argo still wore that suspicious look on his face, but he seemed concerned anyway.  
Aeryn took a deep breath and finally said, "No, D'Argo, I can't let you go without me. If you do get John, he's just going to try to hurt himself with something in the transport pod. You need somebody else to watch him, and it would take Zhaan too long to get here."  
D'Argo nodded roughly and scooped her up in his arms. When she started to protest he said, "We're going to have to get to the pod as soon as possible and we can't do that with you struggling to stand, let alone walk."  
Aeryn ceased and just held onto D'Argo as he ran through the corridors. We're coming, John, just hold on.

John took a deep breath as he stood on the icy hillside overlooking the lake. He tried to imagine what his friends would say when they found out, but he found he couldn't understand the words he pretended they were saying. He growled in frustration and started the descent, each step getting more determined.  
After quite a few microts, he stood at the edge of the lake. He put one foot on the ice, then the other. The ice held his weight. He looked around for the hole that Aeryn's chair had carved into the ice, then started for it. The ice would be thinner there. Before he had gone more than a few meters, he heard D'Argo yelling his name. Slowly he turned around.

Aeryn gasped as she saw John for the first time since he had been in the freezer with her. The hole in his head had only a thin white film covering it, and the white film was now almost all red. He saw her and his expression turned from disbelief to guilt and back again, as if he couldn't decide how to feel. He turned around and she let out a tired moan as one of his feet fell through the ice. "D'Argo, we've got to save him."  
D'Argo scooped her up again and ran as fast as he could to the edge. He set her down and began to carefully make his way toward John.  
"John!" Aeryn cried, forcing the last of her energy into the call, "Please come back!"  
John picked himself out of the ice and sat down on the edge, as if contemplating whether or not to jump in. She noted that he hadn't yet spoken, and she thought it strange since he was usually the most talkative person she knew.  
Meanwhile, D'Argo kept edging closer to their wounded friend.

John looked up at the sound of D'Argo's approach. He knew that D'Argo wouldn't be able to come closer without risking his own safety, but he worried that D'Argo would try anyway. And no matter how much he wanted to die, he didn't want to bring yet another of his friends down with him.  
He had heard Aeryn's ghost call to him. He had thought about jumping then, freeing himself of the hallucination and allowing him to finally be with her, but something about the apparition was out of place. He started to yell a warning in gibberish to D'Argo, when he realized what it was: Her dress. Aeryn would never wear a dress, unless... unless she was in too much of a hurry to change into something more practical. He stared at the ghost for a minute, debating his next decision.

A tear escaped Aeryn's eye as she saw that John was staring at her. She stared back, forcing every emotion she held in her being to show in her eyes. John closed his eyes for a moment and Aeryn choked back a sob. This is it, he's going to leave me.

John pushed himself off of the edge where he had been sitting. He felt the icy water grab him in its fatal grip. He forced the remaining air out of his lungs and tried to suck in the water. He greeted the agony with a grim determination. He felt that only in this way could he die getting what he deserved: the same method by which he had killed the one woman who had ever meant the universe to him.  
He saw his life flashing before his eyes; Alex, his dad, Aeryn, D.K., D'Argo, Aeryn, Moya, Pilot, Zhaan, Aeryn... He grimaced as he uncovered his memories of the neural cluster. He saw the love and trust in her eyes as she leaned forward to kiss him, then himself crushing her head into the wall. He concentrated on her eyes as he felt the blackness starting to claim him. Then he saw a bright light ahead of him...  
"Jeez!" He heard his mother exclaim as she seemed to see John for the first time. "First her, now you?"  
"Mom? What are you doing here?" John asked, surprised to find his ability to speak full restored.  
"Well, you're in heaven now, but you're not supposed to be. Your Aeryn came in earlier, but Velorek thought that it would be better if she thought that she wasn't quite "good enough" to get into heaven just yet, so he told her that they were somewhere between here and hell, so she'd keep trying to be more. He really does seem to be obsessed with the 'You/he/she/it can be more' thing." Mrs. Crichton rolled her eyes in mock exasperation.  
"Aeryn was here?"  
"Yes, but she left. Now you have to leave." She gave him a smile as she pushed him toward a dimly lit tunnel. "I love you, and I want you to know that I like her, just in case."  
John turned and hugged his mom fiercely. "Thanks."  
She pushed him away, toward the tunnel. "Go, before the window closes."  
He gave her one last glance as he ran back into the darkness.

Aeryn's eyes widened as she saw John dive in. She moaned as she saw D'Argo race toward the hole in the ice and fish around for the human. Finally, after what seemed an eternity, he dragged John out by his hair. He pulled him to a thicker patch of ice and he turned him over on his back. He hit John hard, trying to get some of the water out of his lungs. Aeryn limped to where her love lay dying.  
"D'Argo turn him over," she said as she kneeled beside them. D'Argo did as she requested. Aeryn bent over, put her mouth on John's and exhaled, forcing him to take in air. She felt his chest rise underneath her hand, then deflate again as she backed off. Taking a deep breath, she leaned over and breathed into his mouth again. This time his chest didn't go back down when she came away. She looked to D'Argo, afraid that she had done something that would harm him instead of help him.  
Finally, his chest went back down... and came back up of its own accord! She watched John's face eagerly, waiting for a sign. His eyelids fluttered, as if conscious of her eyes on him. One eyelid opened, revealing a bloodshot gray eye. She smiled down at him and D'Argo joined her. "Don't you ever do that to me again," she whispered as John sat up and hugged her.  
"Ish xag dully wosh," he murmured in her ear.  
She pulled back from him and stared into his eyes. "What?"  
He sighed and pointed to the bloody film on his head.  
She coughed again as she reached out to examine his wound. This time, her world started to go black around her and the last thing she felt were two pairs of arms supporting her and keeping her warm. Then she was overcome.

"Don't worry, John, she'll be alright." Zhaan's voice was the first thing Aeryn heard as she regained consciousness. The second thing she heard was John saying something to himself in gibberish. Aeryn coughed slightly, alerting the others to the fact that she was conscious. Various exclamations of concern echoed from the crew members in the infirmary.  
John was the first to reach her side. "Aeryn?" Apparently he can only manage to say names, she thought. She opened her eyes and smiled at him. He smiled back, obviously relieved to see her alive again.  
Zhaan held out a food cube. "Do you think you can eat?"  
Aeryn nodded slightly and took the food cube. "Thanks." Zhaan bowed her head and left, so that the others might get a chance to see her before she went back to sleep. Jothee and D'Argo were next. D'Argo looked down at her fondly, while Jothee simply said, "Thank you." Aeryn smiled weakly and nodded, little more than a small jerk of the head.  
They stepped back to allow Chiana to come closer. "Hey," Chiana whispered as she picked up Aeryn's hand. "You- you had us worried, you know. We didn't think you were coming back..." Chiana took a moment to send a sympathizing look to John. "But I'm glad that you are." She squeezed Aeryn's hand before putting it down and leaving with D'Argo and his son.  
By now, only Rygel and Staark were left. Staark simply gave both patients some comforting thoughts before he left, headed for Command. Rygel floated on his throne for a second, ominously silent, before finally saying, "Welcome back." He bowed his head slightly and followed Staark.  
John looked up as Zhaan came back with a sedative for them. He held up one finger to her, indicating that he wanted a moment alone with Aeryn. She seemed to understand and backed off, pretending to run some tests on the other side of the room.  
John looked down at her with a tear running down his cheek. He brushed a hair back off her forehead and he seemed to think about something for a second. Finally, obviously struggling with the effort, he said, "I..." Unable to continue, he simply kissed her lightly on the lips.  
"I love you too," she said, knowing that he would understand the tone of her voice rather than her words. Then Zhaan came in with the sedative. John's face was the last thing she saw before drifting off to sleep.

"Aeryn." Aeryn spun around to see standing in front of her. She looked around at her surroundings with a feeling of dread. "No, you haven't died again." He said quickly. "Just sleeping at the microt."  
"Then why…" Aeryn began to ask but cut her off.  
"You didn't think I'd abandon you now when you have so much to do! Now that you've been here you can visit whenever you wish. I daresay I shall enjoy you're company." He smiled playfully. He surprised when he her serious look.  
", I'm sorry for what I did to you… before," she said quietly. Velorek hoped his amazement wasn't palpable. The Aeryn Sun he had known would never apologize for anything. He smiled. He had definitely been right in his assumption that she could become more.  
"Don't be. It's in the past you can't change it. Things are much better here than any peacekeeper prison camp." He took her hands. "Listen, Aeryn, what I brought you here for was to tell that… well… everything will turn out right in the. I know about what's going on on your Leviathan… the burns, the side effects of John's operation, Jothee, everything. Just wait, these problems will work themselves out in time." Aeryn nodded, remembering similar problems among the crew. The had seemed horrible at the time, but now as she looked at them she realized that they were more like adventures. Some of them had brought out the best in herself and her crewmates and many had done the opposite. These adventures were what had formed what John described as their "Jerry Springer type family." She had no clue who or what a 'Jerry Springer' was or why John found it important to mention but she did know that in the end this one would only strengthen the ties she had to this family.  
"Are you sure?" Aeryn asked, her face showing her skepticism.  
"Hey, I know things like this." Aeryn lifted one eyebrow. "You know, that reminds me of something that I learned from a few humans who are here. It's called the 'vulcan impression.'" Velorek shrugged. "Humans have to be the only species in the universe that has an entire genre of science fiction. What's worse is..." Velorek trailed off as he caught Aeryn's look. "I'm sure you'll learn from John anyway."  
"As John would say... You don't know the half of it."


	5. Coffee

Written Over The Phone  
(Drabbles inspired by conversations with Becksah T. R. G.)  
Coffee (Drabble #1)  
Disclaimer: I don't own Farscape, and I think everybody knows this by now. I hate writing disclaimers (Grrr).  
Feedback: "mailto:carlottaq "  
————

"D'Argo… fun he-he-he," Chiana raced blissfully through Moya like a hurricane bent on destruction. A few arns ago John had found a few packets of "coffee" in the pockets of his NASA uniform. Chiana, finding this strange, dark brown liquid, a delicious treat had managed to consume three pots. She was suffering the effects.  
"D'Argo wake up!"  
"Go away." The Luxen grumbled sleepily.  
"No… wake up!" D'Argo reluctantly left his bed to see what Chiana wanted.  
"Hi D'Argo!" Chiana said, dissolving into a fit of nervous giggles.  
"Chiana?"  
"Have you tried John's coffee… it's" She twisted her head nervously "good".


	6. A Kiss is a Terrible Thing To Waste

Disclaimer: I don't own Farscape (duh). No copy write infringement intended.  
Notes: Post ep. drabble for "Look At The Princess" series. Aeryn's POV  
Thanks: Thank you to my BETA reader and friend Erin Cale, as well as to Rebecca and Megan for their constant support.  
Feedback: "mailto:carlottaq "  
———.   
John is looking at me strangely. I can't help but wonder what he's thinking. The sweet flavor from our kiss still lingers in my mouth. We're compatible! Now what? Surely he doesn't expect me to replace the child he has just lost? He is smiling and I smile too.  
With out a word I return to my work. I notice that John is standing over me expectantly. Finally I break the silence that I've held since returning to Moya.  
"What?"  
"We're compatible,"  
"Yes,"  
"Is that all you have to say Aeryn?"  
"Do you want to run away?"  
"With you?"  
"Always."

-End


	7. More

Disclaimer: I don't own Farscape, and I think everybody knows this by now. I hate writing disclaimers (Grrr).  
Rating: PG  
Feedback: "mailto:carlottaq "  
Thanks: To my Beta Reader Erin Cale.  
Notes: Set about three cycles in the future. Aeryn's POV  
——

I suppose John would say that I'm "in denial". I knew from the beginning of my journey aboard Moya that everyone's primary goal was to get home. Well, every one except for Chiana, whose primary goal has always been to seduce John and D'Argo, and mine, which was… to become more? Yes, that would be it.  
Despite my knowledge I never really expected anyone to reach their goal. I certainly never expected to reach mine. But now Chiana's got D'Argo, Zhaan and Rygil have gone home, and John's is leaving for Earth in only a few arns. A few weekens ago I would thought that I too had reached my goal; that I was more. Now I realize that the "more" was really just John. He completed me in a way no one else ever could. With out him I'm no more than I ever was as a peacekeeper militant. With out him I'm nothing.  
Now I'm going to lose him and it's my own frelling fault. In my own way I'm worse than Chiana. One microt I would flirt shamelessly with him, the next I'd push him away. He played my game for so long that I fear that the damage I've done may be irrevocable. I've finally won; I've pushed all the way to the other side of the galaxy. If I could have just one more chance… no, I've been given to many chances already. He already gave me my last chance, he asked me to come to earth with him and I refused. Frell!  
"Aeryn?" John's familiar voice breaks me from my reverie.  
"What do you want?" I reply harshly, determined not to let him see the pain his departure is causing me.  
"To say goodbye." He replies evenly. He is so used to my coldness by now that he barely seems to notice it.  
"Please don't go." As soon as the words leave my lips I wish them unsaid. They're like deathblow to John's composure.  
"I've already told you that you could come with me Aeryn! If I don't leave now I may never be able to…"  
"Why?" I ask simply. I know it's not going to change his mind but argument is so comfortable between us, so familiar…  
"Because I'm tired of this. I just want to go back to being you're average "mentally deficient" human! Is that all right with you officer Sun?" I shake my head thinking desperately for the words that will make him stay. Suddenly I know.  
"No John it's not all right with me. You can be more."


End file.
